What Purpose Do Gay Dating Apps Play?


What Purpose Do Gay Sex Dating Apps Play?


Some say that the Internet plays a key roll in many ones sex life.

True or False? You Decide…

The internet is like a huge laboratory. You can spend a lot of time there observing other guys’ personalities and bulges or you can use the internet to experiment with your own sexuality.  No confounding variables. No inhibitions. Instant results. Ideal selves. You can be who whoever you want to be and do whatever (and whoever) you want to do. Sounds perfect?

Gay sex and dating apps such as Grindr and Scruff can be interpreted as an empty canvas you can paint your secret desires on. At first sight, there are no side effects. Still, there are a bunch of gay guys with various scores on self-confidence and narcissism. Showing off and endless sexting go along with extreme narcissism but, eventually, it generates a thought I am in love with myself, but it is not mutual.

Scruff and Grindr have received numerous awards for best sex and dating apps. In my opinion they are the best gay app out there for anyone who wants to get hooked up on hookup. 

Why did Grindr and Scruff become an instant success?

Well, gay dating apps satisfy many basic needs that gay community has. Besides previously mentioned narcissism and exhibitionism, it is suitable for every homosexual soul that wants to connect with similar homosexual souls both locally and globally. – Dan Trepanier

Being part of online community gives us a strong sense of belonging. Almost every gay man knows life is not just about giving, it has a lot to do with receiving as well, If you know what I mean. Sex and gay dating apps like Grindr, Scruff, GayRomeo, etc. allow you to be an active contributor of a gay community, either by spreading awareness about STDs or promoting club parties where many single men can find their lover or just by sharing photos of your hot body.

Sex and gay dating apps give you freedom of choice. You choose how you want to present yourself. Maybe you don’t want to fall under any classification and you just want to go down on someone. Here, you can be noticed. You can be uninhibited. They say straight guy does an  analysis before liking a random woman’s photo, while gay guy feels free to woof any guy who looks like his daddy.

Sex Dates As Validation of Fluid Identity

While serious relationships become part of our identity and make us consistent over time, random sex with strangers is similar to an incident: it is sudden, wild, ephemeral and distant from our routines. We only need fragments of our identity, those pieces we can easily get rid off when we get off. Identity is fluid, just as sexuality. The more you experiment, the more you open up as a person, as long as you are careful and smart and you learn how to ride that horse.

Still, we bring our histories, our habits, our drives on a sex date and they all actualize in a given moment. It might come as a surprise, but spending time on Grindr and having multiple sex dates can make people feel needed, validated and significant. Another basic human need.

The biggest question here is: When on Grindr or on a sex date, do we have sex with other person or just with the raw excitement of our basic needs?

Is it horniness, or is it loneliness?


There are plenty of aspects that define a healthy LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Questioning) Relationships, and I would say that the most important one is mutual respect

Dan Trepanier

Certified , Personal Wellness Trainer