HOW TO – Craft YOUR New Definition of Success
To Define Success Means You...
- are clear on the important relationships or things in your life at any given moment.
- orient your time around your key values.
Please let me help you identify 3 ways you measure success.
- Ask yourself if what you are doing NOW supports your definition of success!
We are constantly bombarded with distractions and conflicting priorities that eat away at our energy and time. Living your definition of success is critical to set priorities and EXPERIENCE LIFE ON YOUR OWN TERMS.
Explore the phrase I know I am successful by .....
First step is to articulate success in 3 ways. The sooner you define something, the sooner it becomes real. Start the definition of your success by finishing following sentence:
I know I am being successful when…
Using this exact sentence structure will help you not only define success but also recognize when you’re being successful.
Here are some examples
- I know I am being successful by how easily my ideas convert into income streams.
- I know I am being successful by how I do nice things for people by choice not by obligation.
- I know I am being successful when I feel joy in every single thing I do with my time
Listen to your body. When you phrase a success definition in a way that redefines how your body feels, it means it’s right. When it doesn’t resonate, just keep tweaking it until it does. It may take a couple of days for it to make you excited.
You know you are being successful when you articulate what you really want and not what you think you should want. Forget about what culture offers as success and express yourself on your own terms. Your body, mind and soul are your temple, and your success definition is your prayer.
Notice how your success definition affects you in the following weeks. Are there any small or significant changes in your life? One thing is for sure - You’ll find it easier to say no to people or situations that just don’t fit anymore with what is most important to you. Knowing how to say no is 1|2 the battle.
Don’t forget to define your success sincerely. Maybe if our skin was transparent and we could observe our blood vessels and heart working underneath, we would all be more honest with ourselves. Being honest with yourself and believing in yourself takes a lot of effort but it all eventually pays off. Success isn’t everything. It is the only thing.
- Tweak your responses until they resonate with you.
- Focus on what you know you REALLY want as oppose to what you COULD or SHOULD want -- there is a difference!
Craft answers and observe your bodily sensations. Which statements resonate with you over the coming days as you ponder your answers? Note any small or perhaps significant changes in your life as you focus on acting on your final definitions. As a result of your clarity it will become easier to set priorities and know when to say yes or no.
Of course only you can decide to what extent you wish to implement any changes in your life, but at least you will have the insight into what your head, heart and body are suggesting.
Here are a few Strong (S) or Weak (W) examples to consider. Strong statements resonate clearly with you as oppose to describing something that you think is important.
- Strong: I know I am successful when I am surrounded by people who appreciate my presence and I appreciate theirs.
- Weak: I know I am successful by how much I appreciate people.
- Strong: I know I am successful by how much I can share my positive energy with my community.
- Weak: I know I am successful by how much I am positive.
- Strong: I know I am successful by how much I enjoy being creative.
- Weak: I know I am successful by how creative I am
-- notice the difference?
.The next phase of this exercise is to explore ways to realign your priorities, relationships, goals and life. Begin reorienting your energy around your 3 success definitions. Change a few things in your life to be in sync with success.
- Use just one adjective ---i.e., instead of 'peace and calmness' pick ONE word (peace or calmness).
- Keep playing with phrases until the right one pops out at you.
- Notice the positive energy sensations as you chose one word over another.
- Statements are in the present tense -- NOW!
- When I used the phrase 'enjoying my creativity' I instantly felt a sense of excitement! It's one thing to be miserable or bored at creating something but an entirely a different perspective when I enjoy my creativity.
If you don't define success for yourself others will based on their priorities. A clearly articulated definition of success is the primary compass that governs how you manage your time and energy and what you will or not put up with. - Dan Trepanier
Clearly defined success leverages how and when you experience life on your own terms!
- I know I am successful by how little I care about what other people think of me.
- I know I am successful by how easily my ideas convert into income streams.
- I know I am successful by how I do nice things for people by choice not by obligation.
- I know I am successful when I feel joy in every single thing I do with my time.
- I know I am successful when I feel no anxiety, about anything, whatsoever. (this phrase suggests the absence of something as opposed to the presence of something, which in my opinion is a weaker statement.
- I know I am successful when I quit smoking (suggests abstaining or avoiding smoking, whereas saying I know I am successful when I breathe clean air makes it more about gaining something (clean air) that eliminating something (smoking). I am not overweight can be re-framed into I am a healthy body weight. I don't make fun of others reframe to I treat others with respect.... etc...
Over the years I have noticed that some people have adjusted the sentence structure from ... successful by how... to..... successful when. Feel free to adapt the structure in a way that works well for you.
And finally a set statements that are within your control.
- I know I am successful when people like me is a set up for failure because this type of success is dependent upon actions of others.
- I know I am successful when my partner shows me love is another example dependent on others. A good re-frame would be I know I am successful by how much I love my partner (or when I feel and show love towards my partner).
From the "Love I feel from my partner when..." to "creativity I enjoy my work when..." - Dan Trepanier
My brother once told me: build your own dreams or someone else will hire you to build theirs. Wishful thinking is the fuel of our behaviour. Everything starts with noting what is it that YOU want. Feel what is it that you want. You can do it now. No need to wait.
Make a small pause in reading this and think about some of your wishes. Write them down.
Wanting something is not enough, so you will need to take the next step – have faith. Faith makes you confident. Without faith, there is no motivation. For example, If I want to become an go-go dancer and I don’t believe it is possible, am I going to be motivated? I don’t think so. My motivation will go-go away. So, the whole world is a church when you believe in yourself.
Next step is action. Without action, there is no success. If you are not doing anything to accomplish your goals, you will lose faith. So start doing something now. Start with some small steps. Be honest with yourself. Do not think about what your family, peers, religion or culture consider successful. Produce your own success definition.
Post and share your Personal Definition of Success in the comment box below!
What is your definition of success? Is it the salary you receive at the end of each month? Or is it maybe the number of likes you collect everyday? Some people measure their success by the quality of their personal relationships, while others reflect on how close they are to self-actualization.
Mine is – to enjoy my creativity, share my energy with a community, and be in the presence of people who appreciate me and I appreciate them! I will ask you once again – what is YOUR definition of success?
The sooner you definite it, the sooner you will be able to strive for that best version of yourself and live life that matters.
Let's connect soon!
Success is not about finding yourself. It is about creating and striving to find and be the best version of yourself. Success is when you follow your aspirations to accomplish your goals and enjoy the process.
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